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Handling Marital Rights


I come from a Muslim family and my father is a conservative man. He is a rich man with average looks married to a woman (my mother) who is outstandingly beautiful with 13 years of age gap. Since my childhood, regular fights (verbal) between my parents is a usual thing. For every reason his excuse was Islam and he reiterates that “Islam gives the ultimate power to men and not women”. Living in a western culture, this was very hard for us (the children) to absorb. Now we are back in a country where law is always on husband’s side. So I need to understand Islamic laws to counter his allegation against my mother. Following are the situations: My mother’s parents are not good people according to my father and that is why they do not have the right to live with my mother. He always justifies this with how a women needs to obey her husband… They both are over 80 years and there is hardly anyone to look after them. In my lifetime I have never seen them misbehave with my father. Yes, they are not rich enough to succumb to all his wishes! My mother can only meet people who my father wishes. And believe me when I say that he just needs no reason to dislike a person. A person just has to say something good to my mother, or be nice to her and that would antagonize my father. He is a very jealous man, who doesn’t trust his wife. We are forced to come back to his birthplace and here he has every possible control over us, so how can we stop him from doing all this? Can I stop my father from verbally abusing my mother and from doubting her or disbelieving her on every occasion. My mother is a timid person and I am afraid my father’s behavior is affecting her health as well. What right does Islam give under this circumstances to wife and daughter? I need to mention that we are still financially dependent on him. Thank you for your patience, but I guess people like you are my only solution to my problems. Will eagerly wait for your answer.

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